ha! i was obviously exaggerating about that two-hour window of opportunity. i might have 10 minutes to write this post. and it has taken me a week to find those 10 minutes.
but i am Wonder Woman! el Jefe' made a day trip up North this morning. he got up at the 3 am feeding, took a shower and made his way to the airport for a 6 am flight. Although Peanut was due to eat around 6 am, she very consistently wakes up around 5:30 am (we think it's the early sunrise).
i got a couple winks between 4 am and 5:30. once we got up, i fed her (mommy meal, over a half hour). i also fed the dogs, including the 105-year-old anorexic who stopped eating wet and dry mixed, ate dry only half her meal times or less, and is now eating wet at every meal but has to be supervised because young dog will devour any leftover food which she clearly doesn't need because she is shaped like a cube. i packed Punkin's diaper bag with organic milk, lunch, Pull-ups and wipes, and took it out to the car knowing i wouldn't have a free hand, plus it was an excuse to get the paper. Peanut and i got Punkin up, and i made him an egg for breakfast (unexplainable, other than he asked for it ... raw, i might add, but that is unacceptable). i changed Peanut during breakfast, and brushed Punkin's teeth, and changed Punkin and got him out of his jammies and into his school clothes. Peanut in the car seat, Punkin's shoes on, loaded into the car and we all made it to school by 8 am. only a few tears from both kids, and none from mommy.
i even stopped at the store on the way home for more canned dog food (she can live for three more days) and a D battery for the bouncy chair.
i may have exceeded my 10 minutes, but Peanut is not screaming. i am Wonder Woman.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Thursday, June 21, 2007
three new nursing bras
i'm a little frustrated with the two-hour window of opportunity. you'd think it was an hour to feed, a half-hour of play, and an hour and a half nap, eight times a day. well, the two-hour window of opportunity also applies to how much "work" i can get done in a day. yes, consider the ramifications to a control freak who only has two productive hours in a single day. two productive hours to do actual work, write thank-you notes, send out announcements, work on her memory book, and obviously occasionally post to this blog. i continuously have to remind myself to keep my expectations low (very low).
yesterday's window consisted of an outing with Peanut to run errands. we went to Target because Peanut was running out of diapers. i brought along a gift card with intentions of getting her something special of her very own (probably clothing), but then i choked because we are attending a party in her honor on Sunday. i went through the store twice looking for Mylicon. and i got some diapers. and for myself, i bought three new nursing bras.
nursing bras suck. i have to wear them 24-7 for the next 11 months. i avoid the underwire ones because i read something negative about them, so that reduces my choices to less than half of the styles available. i purchased a Medela nursing bra from JC Penney before Peanut was born. it is easily the world's ugliest bra and not very comfortable. i am extremely disappointed because i have been impressed by nearly everything in the Medela line, and i paid twice what i would normally pay for the butt-ugly bra. at Target, i found three different bras in my size and purchased them on the spot.
the three new bras are ok. just ok. am i going to be like one of my co-workers, who ended up with something like 15 different nursing bras, in her quest for one comfortable bra, when she only nursed her child for a couple months? i don't want fifteen bras. i don't want fifteen styles. i just want a couple that are comfortable; that don't itch, that don't bind on the sides, that will hold up through the laundry. breastfeeding supposedly saves you money, so these dream nursing bras should be affordable, too.
silly me. i've got to remember to keep my expectations low.
yesterday's window consisted of an outing with Peanut to run errands. we went to Target because Peanut was running out of diapers. i brought along a gift card with intentions of getting her something special of her very own (probably clothing), but then i choked because we are attending a party in her honor on Sunday. i went through the store twice looking for Mylicon. and i got some diapers. and for myself, i bought three new nursing bras.
nursing bras suck. i have to wear them 24-7 for the next 11 months. i avoid the underwire ones because i read something negative about them, so that reduces my choices to less than half of the styles available. i purchased a Medela nursing bra from JC Penney before Peanut was born. it is easily the world's ugliest bra and not very comfortable. i am extremely disappointed because i have been impressed by nearly everything in the Medela line, and i paid twice what i would normally pay for the butt-ugly bra. at Target, i found three different bras in my size and purchased them on the spot.
the three new bras are ok. just ok. am i going to be like one of my co-workers, who ended up with something like 15 different nursing bras, in her quest for one comfortable bra, when she only nursed her child for a couple months? i don't want fifteen bras. i don't want fifteen styles. i just want a couple that are comfortable; that don't itch, that don't bind on the sides, that will hold up through the laundry. breastfeeding supposedly saves you money, so these dream nursing bras should be affordable, too.
silly me. i've got to remember to keep my expectations low.
Monday, June 18, 2007
my husband, the best father a kid could have
in honor of Father's Day, i will tell this story about dinner friday night.
el Jefe' and i alternate weeks on whose turn it is to buy groceries, and whose turn it is to decide what our weekend meals entail. typically, we do not cook friday or saturday nights (and thursday is usually left over night). this dates back to a recommendation from counselling many years ago ... it works for us. this past weekend was el Jefe's turn.
he chose Joe's Crab Shack for our friday night outing. the place has a special meaning to us, a park for Punkin to play in, and we recently returned after banning them for several years for poor service and cold food. there was a short wait to be seated, but we had at least an hour and a half window of opportunity before Peanut's next feeding.
we should've known better when it took an eternity to get our beers and Punkin's milk ... so long that our waiter brought us water to tide us over (afterall, we live in the desert, don't ya know). we ordered Punkin's meal, and an appetizer, and figured we'd order our main courses when something showed up (beverage, food, whatever). Punkin was chair dancing, which touched my soul to see my son with no inhibitions (when do kids start to feel embarrassed?) eventually we ordered our main courses, and received our beers.
our appetizer came out before Punkin's meal. well before, in that we ate all the jalapeno crab balls and french fries and all three of us sat there and stared at the empty basket and wished for more. Peanut woke up during the Macarena, and our food, not even Punkin's food, was no where in sight.
el Jefe' bounced Peanut. i bounced and danced with Peanut. Punkin eventually got his food and polished off his carrot sticks. el Jefe' and i finished our beers. and as we watched our window of opportunity creep shut, we asked about our meals. our waiter informed us the oder had only been placed 10 minutes ago. we disagreed, but were held hostage. el Jefe' ordered another beer. and we bounced Peanut.
as the window of opportunity shut, our waiter tried to deliver us another couples' meal. said other couple was seated a good 4 tables after us, most likely a half hour after us. el Jefe' says we should've eat their food. still, we waited and continued to bounce our wide awake and not too happy Peanut.
Punkin announced he had a poo poo. el Jefe' went to change him, and of course, there was not a changing table in the men's restroom. our food was finally delivered, and the waiter had the nerve to ask if the boys were playing in the park. when they got back, el Jefe' let me prepare my food for one-handed eating, and then i took the Peanut while he proceeded to inhale his king crab legs. the balloon lady came by, and made Punkin an Elmo (thank God because he was bored by this time, his normal bed time). el Jefe' was obviously steaming at this point, and he is not a volatile man.
our waiter offered to pay for our drinks. el Jefe' explained that "with a baby, we have a limited window of opportunity, and frankly, our food just took too fucking long." el Jefe' finished his meal; i got a go box for my entire meal, we paid, tipped meagerly and left. i fed Peanut in the car.
so i'm really not comfortable breastfeeding in public, so maybe it's partly my fault. but are we banned from family restaurants because i'm breastfeeding? why shouldn't we be able to dine out? it's not like we went to a five star french restaurant with a seventeen course meal.
all the things that could've made the evening worse: Punkin could've needed stitches after bashing his head into the table and chairs several times. we could've gotten salmonella poisoning from our meal. we could've gotten pulled over on the way home and cited for car seat and seat belt issues, and el Jefe' could've blown over a 0.08. i guess we could've gone to jail.
el Jefe' understands me. he stood up for me, and he stood up for our family.
and my food was good, even though it was cold.
el Jefe' and i alternate weeks on whose turn it is to buy groceries, and whose turn it is to decide what our weekend meals entail. typically, we do not cook friday or saturday nights (and thursday is usually left over night). this dates back to a recommendation from counselling many years ago ... it works for us. this past weekend was el Jefe's turn.
he chose Joe's Crab Shack for our friday night outing. the place has a special meaning to us, a park for Punkin to play in, and we recently returned after banning them for several years for poor service and cold food. there was a short wait to be seated, but we had at least an hour and a half window of opportunity before Peanut's next feeding.
we should've known better when it took an eternity to get our beers and Punkin's milk ... so long that our waiter brought us water to tide us over (afterall, we live in the desert, don't ya know). we ordered Punkin's meal, and an appetizer, and figured we'd order our main courses when something showed up (beverage, food, whatever). Punkin was chair dancing, which touched my soul to see my son with no inhibitions (when do kids start to feel embarrassed?) eventually we ordered our main courses, and received our beers.
our appetizer came out before Punkin's meal. well before, in that we ate all the jalapeno crab balls and french fries and all three of us sat there and stared at the empty basket and wished for more. Peanut woke up during the Macarena, and our food, not even Punkin's food, was no where in sight.
el Jefe' bounced Peanut. i bounced and danced with Peanut. Punkin eventually got his food and polished off his carrot sticks. el Jefe' and i finished our beers. and as we watched our window of opportunity creep shut, we asked about our meals. our waiter informed us the oder had only been placed 10 minutes ago. we disagreed, but were held hostage. el Jefe' ordered another beer. and we bounced Peanut.
as the window of opportunity shut, our waiter tried to deliver us another couples' meal. said other couple was seated a good 4 tables after us, most likely a half hour after us. el Jefe' says we should've eat their food. still, we waited and continued to bounce our wide awake and not too happy Peanut.
Punkin announced he had a poo poo. el Jefe' went to change him, and of course, there was not a changing table in the men's restroom. our food was finally delivered, and the waiter had the nerve to ask if the boys were playing in the park. when they got back, el Jefe' let me prepare my food for one-handed eating, and then i took the Peanut while he proceeded to inhale his king crab legs. the balloon lady came by, and made Punkin an Elmo (thank God because he was bored by this time, his normal bed time). el Jefe' was obviously steaming at this point, and he is not a volatile man.
our waiter offered to pay for our drinks. el Jefe' explained that "with a baby, we have a limited window of opportunity, and frankly, our food just took too fucking long." el Jefe' finished his meal; i got a go box for my entire meal, we paid, tipped meagerly and left. i fed Peanut in the car.
so i'm really not comfortable breastfeeding in public, so maybe it's partly my fault. but are we banned from family restaurants because i'm breastfeeding? why shouldn't we be able to dine out? it's not like we went to a five star french restaurant with a seventeen course meal.
all the things that could've made the evening worse: Punkin could've needed stitches after bashing his head into the table and chairs several times. we could've gotten salmonella poisoning from our meal. we could've gotten pulled over on the way home and cited for car seat and seat belt issues, and el Jefe' could've blown over a 0.08. i guess we could've gone to jail.
el Jefe' understands me. he stood up for me, and he stood up for our family.
and my food was good, even though it was cold.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
3-hour increments
el Jefe' would say, and i would agree, that i'm getting bitchy. part of it is rarely leaving the house. part of it is rarely bathing (i think my last shower was Monday?). part of it is this expensive, butt-ugly, uncomfortable nursing bra that i'm forcing myself to wear 24-7 because i spent the money and it wasn't cheap. and part of it is living life in 3-hour increments.
i try to make sure Peanut has 8 meals a day. do the math, and that is every 3 hours. my family (except for my antiquated parents) are firm believers in "Baby Wise" which offers the wake, eat, play, sleep routine. Peanut is doing well, Punkin did fabulously, so we're trying to maintain the tradition in concept. breastfeeding kids can take up to an hour to feed. 20 minutes is just plain bullshit. so, that leaves roughly 2 hours every feeding. two or three of those, i try to sleep. at least two more of those, el Jefe' and i are trying to balance having Punkin and Peanut around and keeping everyone fed and entertained. what it boils down to is that i feel as though i have no more than 2 hours to accomplish anything in any one day. that could be a shower. that could be thank you notes. that could be a trip to the grocery store.
i'm frustrated that i can't accomplish much in two hours a day.
and i've got nearly 11 months and 2 weeks more of this.
i try to make sure Peanut has 8 meals a day. do the math, and that is every 3 hours. my family (except for my antiquated parents) are firm believers in "Baby Wise" which offers the wake, eat, play, sleep routine. Peanut is doing well, Punkin did fabulously, so we're trying to maintain the tradition in concept. breastfeeding kids can take up to an hour to feed. 20 minutes is just plain bullshit. so, that leaves roughly 2 hours every feeding. two or three of those, i try to sleep. at least two more of those, el Jefe' and i are trying to balance having Punkin and Peanut around and keeping everyone fed and entertained. what it boils down to is that i feel as though i have no more than 2 hours to accomplish anything in any one day. that could be a shower. that could be thank you notes. that could be a trip to the grocery store.
i'm frustrated that i can't accomplish much in two hours a day.
and i've got nearly 11 months and 2 weeks more of this.
Sunday, June 10, 2007
the end of an era
FOR SALE
1998 Kawasaki 1100 ZXi
1998 Kawasaki 1100 STX
1998 Zieman J2B Double Trailer
$5,900 or best offer
29 minutes from Lake Mead National Recreation Area
1998 Kawasaki 1100 ZXi
1998 Kawasaki 1100 STX
1998 Zieman J2B Double Trailer
$5,900 or best offer
29 minutes from Lake Mead National Recreation Area
Cruising, Tubing, Water Skiing, Wake Boarding & Tons o’ Fun
we started 4th of July, 1998 with the red ski, a three-seater, and a double trailer. we followed with the yellow ski, a two seater, around labor day weekend that same year. on saturday, June 9, we sold both Jet Ski's and the trailer. honest to God, el Jefe' and i cried.
this was a huge part of our lives here. this was our primary source of entertainment. the red ski had nearly 200 hours on the odometer ... you could say we got our money's worth. memories. fun. passion.
due to environmental restrictions, we can't ride them in the larger lakes up North. we have vowed to get back into it when we get settled up North ... out of an apartment and into a house. it won't be the same; it never is the same. at least we got to share it with Punkin (who has asked several times "Where did the Jet Skis go?"). and with our resolve to get back into it when we're up North, we will share the enjoyment with Peanut.
the end of an era, or the beginning of a new one?
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Lea's coming out party
i was supposed to check into the hospital, labor and delivery, at 8:00 pm Tuesday, May 29th. Like most events since becoming a mother to Punkin, I was late. I put in a full day of work, with a goal to leave at 5:00 pm. I made it out by 5:30 pm, with quite a few items remaining on my “to do” list (some important, like a change order, and others not, like a request for quiz hints received this last day). We planned to take Punkin out to dinner (Applebee’s, his second favorite, mainly for the balloons) but the Applebee’s close to our house is closed, boarded-up, kaput. We opted for the next closest Applebee’s, which had several empty tables yet a wait to be seated, and no balloons. My prediction is the Applebee’s chain is going under for failure to provide balloons. Just you watch. There was quite a scene at home with Punkin, with plenty of tears, and requests that we all go to the hospital together and get Peanut. Eventually we showed up at labor and delivery closer to 8:45 pm. Not like they were going to start without me.
So i check into triage, and fill out a pink sheet roughly 5 x 7 (landscape) with about a dozen boxes for information. They included “last menstral period” and “due date” and how far along i was, so i did not have to go through the agony of the stupid wheel one more time. That’s it. No wonder they let just anyone have a baby. The nurses laughed when my response to “Why are you here?” consisted of “Cervical ripening”. Not a good sign. One of the triage nurses said she never heard it put that way … that’s what my ob-gyn called it; that’s what they call it in “What to Expect” … what am i supposed to say … they are going to put in a chemical tampon?
Labor and delivery triage was busy (el Jefe' kept commenting: “Business is good.”) so we sat in the waiting area for probably over an hour watching network TV shows neither of us had even heard of. My first L & D nurse, Ruth, eventually came and got us and put us in Room 4 (even though the computer was supposedly slow). She started an IV after repeating how my veins were so easy to find, yet complaining that they’re all crooked (because i have valves, and i think the only thing we can blame there is good ol’ advanced maternal age); suffice to say, this IV site was to get a lot of use, and she got it the first try, but it wasn’t pretty, without blood loss, or painless. At this point, i was in the gown, i’ve got both the external fetal heart rate and contraction monitors, but i was able to get up and use the rest room on my own free will (sorry, but that is important to me.)
Around 11:00 pm Ruth began the cervical ripening, but not without a final trip to the bathroom since I was going to be bedridden (only for the next 2 hours, but still…). She did tell me we have a very happy baby, judging by the monitors. Internal check (for those of you who have never had kids, this is done MANUALLY and frequently): my cervix had thinned, and was closed, as it had been for the previous 3 weeks. A few minutes into the ripening, i sent el Jefe' home. The process was rather like watching paint dry, and they weren’t planning on starting Pitocin until i had ripened for 12 hours. He left and i dozed on and off (mostly off) for the obligatory 2 hours. Once Ruth returned and released me from the bed, i of course went to the bathroom and opted for the 10 mg of Ambien offered to me. It did absolutely nothing. Needless to say, i saw the story about Andrew Speaker and his TB about every 8 minutes throughout my hospital stay.
Shortly after 7:00 am i called el Jefe' and Punkin (“No new baby yet.”) Ruth finished her shift and i met my new L & D nurse, Tammy. Tammy had an improved command of the English language and a drier sense of humor … we got along fabulously. We talked about kids, and birth experiences (17 hours with Punkin; she said she could beat that), and potential names (Chloe is regaining in popularity, and the family controversy over Stuart). She gave me a tray of hospital breakfast, which really was terrific, since the supposed “benefit” of cervical ripening is that you can eat and walk around (and hence, go to the bathroom). With the other induction drugs and interventions, you eventually lose your rights, so i nearly devoured the breakfast as quickly as i could. My gyn-ob showed up with half a muffin to go (i had saved the best for last). Another internal check with no change: my cervix was paper thin, but closed. i was having a couple contractions every hour, but nothing worth breathing about. My ob-gyn opted to skip the full 12 hours of ripening and get the party started with Pitocin. i never did get to finish that other half of muffin.
He started with an amnio hook. The hope was if he could get through the tiny hole in my cervix, things would get started. He poked and prodded (mind you all of this is without a stitch of pain medication) and eventually broke my water. Tammy described it as clear with chunks. The chunks were meconium; Peanut had taken a dump, which was the first sign of distress. Everyone (from my ob-gyn, to the maternal-fetal monitoring nurse, to Ruth, Tammy and me), had hoped that my body would get things started (dilation) on its own, whether from all the cervical ripening, having my water break, or all the internal checks. i was fully effaced, but my cervix was still closed.
Then i had a gusher and lost a ton of amniotic fluid. Tammy tried to keep me calm and optimistic, making light of the mess i had made. She inserted a sort of catheter, which would act as an internal contraction monitor and served to replace the lost amniotic fluid (with a saline solution, i believe). It was one of those “get up on the bed with me and poke and prod and …” well frankly, it felt like she was trying to insert a tree trunk inside me, and very deep inside me, possibly poking through the tattoo on my back. She was incredibly proud when she was successful and couldn’t wait to tell the other L & D nurses of her achievement with the patient with the closed cervix. So went the end of my bathroom rights.
She opted not to start the Pitocin right away, since i had been manually manipulated so much, so frequently, again with the hope that my cervix would dilate on its own. We watched the monitors. Sure enough, my contractions came on every two to six minutes, but without regularity. el Jefe' made it back around this time. He got to witness another internal check. Tammy wanted to give me a sympathy 1, but the fact was my cervix was still closed. el Jefe' helped change my gown and some bedding, and change out the rolled up receiving blanket between my legs that acted as a pad to soak up the fluid coming out and going in. i got a dose of Demoral which didn’t do much for the pain (and humiliation) of the internal checks, but i did start to ask some stupid questions.
It was Pitocin on and off until after lunch time. el Jefe' kept changing my bedding and blankets out of the adjacent supply closet (but we began to run out of receiving blankets). He even offered to get me a bed pan (but didn’t know what one looked like). Sometimes Peanut was fine on the monitors, and sometimes not. It seemed like just when they were making progress with labor, Peanut would show some signs of distress, so they’d shut down the Pitocin.
My ob-gyn came by to see how things were progressing and recommended i have an epidural to prevent the agony of more internal checks (he actually described them as torture). For me, yes, they were torture and worse than contractions. Contractions have a limited duration and can be somewhat regular and predictable. Not so with the internal checks. i felt like they were inside me up to the elbow, and i was frustrated because we weren’t getting anywhere. i think we had passed the 17-hour mark (if you count the ripening). So yeah, bring on the epidural.
i guess i pissed off the anesthesiologist because i wanted to use a bed pan before the epidural. Dude, gimme a break. i’m actually asking to use a bed pan. Whatever. i got to use the bed pan, and i got my epidural. He did a good job because i only had two contractions during the insertions. i think he was still mad about the bed pan, though.
Once the epidural kicked in, Tammy went to work. Operation Dilation. Manual. She got me to a 4, which meant four fingers. Pitocin was still on and off. She had me lay on my left side for awhile. When Peanut wasn’t happy, they rolled me to my right side. When Peanut still wasn’t happy, they rolled me kind of onto my stomach in a running position (imagine this nine months pregnant). And when it was all said and done, they shut down the Pitocin.
Peanut’s heart rate actually slowed following the peaks of some contractions. They call it “facing” or “basing” or some word that rhymes with those. It’s not a good thing. Basically there were indications of distress, but without getting inside, they could not be sure what was causing the distress. Tammy set the stage for a possible C-section. Her fourth child was a C-section. She told el Jefe' i was going to need help at home. Period.
My ob-gyn came back and talked about a C-section as well. He and Tammy talked about the women with multiple page birthing plans. Although i assured them i was not one of those women, i honestly felt that sense of failure. But my ob-gyn left the decision to me, to us, with the caution that there were indications that Peanut was in distress. Roughly 20 hours into my hospital adventure, we opted for the surgical route. el Jefe' donned his cap, gown and booties … all i got was a cap.
There were pissing matches between the nurses over who would be with me through the C-section. Tammy stood firm that she would be there. No one knew who would assist my ob-gyn, but supposedly there was someone available. (i got his bill 8 days later … he does not accept Anthem Blue Cross Blue Shield.) (These people actually use the Holiday Inn Express joke a lot, which isn’t funny when you’re the one having surgery.) And then the anesthesiologist that did my epidural was no where to be found (still holding the bed pan against me, no doubt), but they got a team together.
As we entered OR Number 1, they were playing Pink Floyd (comfortably numb). It made me smile. They asked el Jefe' to don his mask. They cranked more juice into my epidural site. They spread my arms like Jesus on the cross and draped me. They started at 6:01 pm. The chord was wrapped tightly around Peanut’s neck twice, and a third time around the shoulders. On Wednesday, May 30th, at 6:07 pm, they delivered our baby girl. i cried when they told me it was a girl. (i probably would’ve cried if it was a boy, too.)
Every child is unique. Every birthing experience is different. This was Lea’s story.
So i check into triage, and fill out a pink sheet roughly 5 x 7 (landscape) with about a dozen boxes for information. They included “last menstral period” and “due date” and how far along i was, so i did not have to go through the agony of the stupid wheel one more time. That’s it. No wonder they let just anyone have a baby. The nurses laughed when my response to “Why are you here?” consisted of “Cervical ripening”. Not a good sign. One of the triage nurses said she never heard it put that way … that’s what my ob-gyn called it; that’s what they call it in “What to Expect” … what am i supposed to say … they are going to put in a chemical tampon?
Labor and delivery triage was busy (el Jefe' kept commenting: “Business is good.”) so we sat in the waiting area for probably over an hour watching network TV shows neither of us had even heard of. My first L & D nurse, Ruth, eventually came and got us and put us in Room 4 (even though the computer was supposedly slow). She started an IV after repeating how my veins were so easy to find, yet complaining that they’re all crooked (because i have valves, and i think the only thing we can blame there is good ol’ advanced maternal age); suffice to say, this IV site was to get a lot of use, and she got it the first try, but it wasn’t pretty, without blood loss, or painless. At this point, i was in the gown, i’ve got both the external fetal heart rate and contraction monitors, but i was able to get up and use the rest room on my own free will (sorry, but that is important to me.)
Around 11:00 pm Ruth began the cervical ripening, but not without a final trip to the bathroom since I was going to be bedridden (only for the next 2 hours, but still…). She did tell me we have a very happy baby, judging by the monitors. Internal check (for those of you who have never had kids, this is done MANUALLY and frequently): my cervix had thinned, and was closed, as it had been for the previous 3 weeks. A few minutes into the ripening, i sent el Jefe' home. The process was rather like watching paint dry, and they weren’t planning on starting Pitocin until i had ripened for 12 hours. He left and i dozed on and off (mostly off) for the obligatory 2 hours. Once Ruth returned and released me from the bed, i of course went to the bathroom and opted for the 10 mg of Ambien offered to me. It did absolutely nothing. Needless to say, i saw the story about Andrew Speaker and his TB about every 8 minutes throughout my hospital stay.
Shortly after 7:00 am i called el Jefe' and Punkin (“No new baby yet.”) Ruth finished her shift and i met my new L & D nurse, Tammy. Tammy had an improved command of the English language and a drier sense of humor … we got along fabulously. We talked about kids, and birth experiences (17 hours with Punkin; she said she could beat that), and potential names (Chloe is regaining in popularity, and the family controversy over Stuart). She gave me a tray of hospital breakfast, which really was terrific, since the supposed “benefit” of cervical ripening is that you can eat and walk around (and hence, go to the bathroom). With the other induction drugs and interventions, you eventually lose your rights, so i nearly devoured the breakfast as quickly as i could. My gyn-ob showed up with half a muffin to go (i had saved the best for last). Another internal check with no change: my cervix was paper thin, but closed. i was having a couple contractions every hour, but nothing worth breathing about. My ob-gyn opted to skip the full 12 hours of ripening and get the party started with Pitocin. i never did get to finish that other half of muffin.
He started with an amnio hook. The hope was if he could get through the tiny hole in my cervix, things would get started. He poked and prodded (mind you all of this is without a stitch of pain medication) and eventually broke my water. Tammy described it as clear with chunks. The chunks were meconium; Peanut had taken a dump, which was the first sign of distress. Everyone (from my ob-gyn, to the maternal-fetal monitoring nurse, to Ruth, Tammy and me), had hoped that my body would get things started (dilation) on its own, whether from all the cervical ripening, having my water break, or all the internal checks. i was fully effaced, but my cervix was still closed.
Then i had a gusher and lost a ton of amniotic fluid. Tammy tried to keep me calm and optimistic, making light of the mess i had made. She inserted a sort of catheter, which would act as an internal contraction monitor and served to replace the lost amniotic fluid (with a saline solution, i believe). It was one of those “get up on the bed with me and poke and prod and …” well frankly, it felt like she was trying to insert a tree trunk inside me, and very deep inside me, possibly poking through the tattoo on my back. She was incredibly proud when she was successful and couldn’t wait to tell the other L & D nurses of her achievement with the patient with the closed cervix. So went the end of my bathroom rights.
She opted not to start the Pitocin right away, since i had been manually manipulated so much, so frequently, again with the hope that my cervix would dilate on its own. We watched the monitors. Sure enough, my contractions came on every two to six minutes, but without regularity. el Jefe' made it back around this time. He got to witness another internal check. Tammy wanted to give me a sympathy 1, but the fact was my cervix was still closed. el Jefe' helped change my gown and some bedding, and change out the rolled up receiving blanket between my legs that acted as a pad to soak up the fluid coming out and going in. i got a dose of Demoral which didn’t do much for the pain (and humiliation) of the internal checks, but i did start to ask some stupid questions.
It was Pitocin on and off until after lunch time. el Jefe' kept changing my bedding and blankets out of the adjacent supply closet (but we began to run out of receiving blankets). He even offered to get me a bed pan (but didn’t know what one looked like). Sometimes Peanut was fine on the monitors, and sometimes not. It seemed like just when they were making progress with labor, Peanut would show some signs of distress, so they’d shut down the Pitocin.
My ob-gyn came by to see how things were progressing and recommended i have an epidural to prevent the agony of more internal checks (he actually described them as torture). For me, yes, they were torture and worse than contractions. Contractions have a limited duration and can be somewhat regular and predictable. Not so with the internal checks. i felt like they were inside me up to the elbow, and i was frustrated because we weren’t getting anywhere. i think we had passed the 17-hour mark (if you count the ripening). So yeah, bring on the epidural.
i guess i pissed off the anesthesiologist because i wanted to use a bed pan before the epidural. Dude, gimme a break. i’m actually asking to use a bed pan. Whatever. i got to use the bed pan, and i got my epidural. He did a good job because i only had two contractions during the insertions. i think he was still mad about the bed pan, though.
Once the epidural kicked in, Tammy went to work. Operation Dilation. Manual. She got me to a 4, which meant four fingers. Pitocin was still on and off. She had me lay on my left side for awhile. When Peanut wasn’t happy, they rolled me to my right side. When Peanut still wasn’t happy, they rolled me kind of onto my stomach in a running position (imagine this nine months pregnant). And when it was all said and done, they shut down the Pitocin.
Peanut’s heart rate actually slowed following the peaks of some contractions. They call it “facing” or “basing” or some word that rhymes with those. It’s not a good thing. Basically there were indications of distress, but without getting inside, they could not be sure what was causing the distress. Tammy set the stage for a possible C-section. Her fourth child was a C-section. She told el Jefe' i was going to need help at home. Period.
My ob-gyn came back and talked about a C-section as well. He and Tammy talked about the women with multiple page birthing plans. Although i assured them i was not one of those women, i honestly felt that sense of failure. But my ob-gyn left the decision to me, to us, with the caution that there were indications that Peanut was in distress. Roughly 20 hours into my hospital adventure, we opted for the surgical route. el Jefe' donned his cap, gown and booties … all i got was a cap.
There were pissing matches between the nurses over who would be with me through the C-section. Tammy stood firm that she would be there. No one knew who would assist my ob-gyn, but supposedly there was someone available. (i got his bill 8 days later … he does not accept Anthem Blue Cross Blue Shield.) (These people actually use the Holiday Inn Express joke a lot, which isn’t funny when you’re the one having surgery.) And then the anesthesiologist that did my epidural was no where to be found (still holding the bed pan against me, no doubt), but they got a team together.
As we entered OR Number 1, they were playing Pink Floyd (comfortably numb). It made me smile. They asked el Jefe' to don his mask. They cranked more juice into my epidural site. They spread my arms like Jesus on the cross and draped me. They started at 6:01 pm. The chord was wrapped tightly around Peanut’s neck twice, and a third time around the shoulders. On Wednesday, May 30th, at 6:07 pm, they delivered our baby girl. i cried when they told me it was a girl. (i probably would’ve cried if it was a boy, too.)
Every child is unique. Every birthing experience is different. This was Lea’s story.
Monday, May 28, 2007
ramblings of ocurrences and preparations
i'm all freaked out about fetal movements. last tuesday night, Peanut was break-dancing just as i laid down to go to bed, for about an hour. it was funny and unusual. and the next day, it seemed as though everything changed.
i t-boned someone in the parking lot at work; fortunately after i dropped Punkin off at school. the damage was cosmetic, and the guy didn't want to call the police ("we're on private property") or exchange insurance ("it's a work car and i don't have time"). frankly i was embarrassed. i think that part is over, but i thought about damage to the Peanut nonetheless.
el Jefe' took Abby into the vet that day. she hadn't eaten in 24 hours. they put her on an iv and did a lot of blood work. she came home on Saturday with a nearly $900 bill. will she live to see the Peanut? we've decided not to pursue life saving measures since she's so old, but we can't stand to watch her starve to death. it's a worry.
on thursday, i (and Peanut) scored a 9.5 out of 10 at fetal monitoring. my nurse reassured me that induction isn't so bad; i may dilate on my own; and besides, i'm experienced at delivering on pitocin. she also warned me that my greatest risk at my age is still birth. it's awful; it's real; and it's on my mind.
we started picking up some things for Peanut's arrival. el Jefe' wanted Peanut to have his or her own "home from the hospital" outfit. i thought that was sweet. we bought an outfit, some newborn pants and t-shirts, and i dug out Punkin's newborn clothes. we also bought Punkin a big brother t-shirt, a big brother book, and a potty book. i'm so worried this is going to be hard on him. i keep thinking these are our last days alone with him. and i keep regretting any minute that doesn't go wonderfully (plenty with a two-year-old).
we went jet-skiing at the lake for the last time yesterday. it was windy and crowded, and we risked getting stuck, but more than one "neighbor" offered to help. it wasn't a perfect day, but we went, and it will be our last.
el jefe' and i talked about delaying the move because there is potential we can't get Punkin in day care until August. no decisions. i think maybe we're preoccupied that we're having a baby on Tuesday or Wednesday.
i t-boned someone in the parking lot at work; fortunately after i dropped Punkin off at school. the damage was cosmetic, and the guy didn't want to call the police ("we're on private property") or exchange insurance ("it's a work car and i don't have time"). frankly i was embarrassed. i think that part is over, but i thought about damage to the Peanut nonetheless.
el Jefe' took Abby into the vet that day. she hadn't eaten in 24 hours. they put her on an iv and did a lot of blood work. she came home on Saturday with a nearly $900 bill. will she live to see the Peanut? we've decided not to pursue life saving measures since she's so old, but we can't stand to watch her starve to death. it's a worry.
on thursday, i (and Peanut) scored a 9.5 out of 10 at fetal monitoring. my nurse reassured me that induction isn't so bad; i may dilate on my own; and besides, i'm experienced at delivering on pitocin. she also warned me that my greatest risk at my age is still birth. it's awful; it's real; and it's on my mind.
we started picking up some things for Peanut's arrival. el Jefe' wanted Peanut to have his or her own "home from the hospital" outfit. i thought that was sweet. we bought an outfit, some newborn pants and t-shirts, and i dug out Punkin's newborn clothes. we also bought Punkin a big brother t-shirt, a big brother book, and a potty book. i'm so worried this is going to be hard on him. i keep thinking these are our last days alone with him. and i keep regretting any minute that doesn't go wonderfully (plenty with a two-year-old).
we went jet-skiing at the lake for the last time yesterday. it was windy and crowded, and we risked getting stuck, but more than one "neighbor" offered to help. it wasn't a perfect day, but we went, and it will be our last.
el jefe' and i talked about delaying the move because there is potential we can't get Punkin in day care until August. no decisions. i think maybe we're preoccupied that we're having a baby on Tuesday or Wednesday.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
the end is near: an e-mail to my family
well, the end is near.
my due date is June 2, and Peanut has been in position for awhile now, and my cervix is thinning. however, my doctor is concerned that i have too much scar tissue on my cervix due to multiple procedures and surgeries past and there has been absolutely no change in the last 3 weeks. so the first 30 weeks of the pregnancy they were worried that the Peanut was going to fall out, and now it appears they'll have to intervene to get the Peanut out.
i'm scheduled to check in the hospital Tuesday night, May 29th, when they will start me on "cervical ripening". i have to stay at the hospital, but i'll be able to walk around and eat. after about 12 hours, they'll start me on pitocin. there's still a chance the ripening won't work, so when i'm in real active labor they'll put me on pain medication and cut my cervix. my monitoring nurse has been very optimistic that i won't have to be cut, and has tried to reassure me that i don't know anything different than delivery on pitocin (my water broke with Punkin, so that was the route they took) so atleast i have experience. it is a bit of a relief knowing that the wait is almost over.
i have not sent any ultrasounds because they've all been awful. el Jefe' says we're going to have a blurry baby. we know that the baby has a lot of hair, long legs, and very big feet. my doctor says Peanut is relatively small, probably under 7 lbs. i've gained 25 lbs and am carrying really low.
we had two groups come through our house yesterday with no warning from our realtor. el Jefe' was able to take Punkin to the park during one showing, but was in the middle of cooking fish tacos during the other. we had not had anyone through in a month, so he let them through. i'm sure they were scared off by the barking dog, screaming kid running around in his pull-up, and the stinky smell of fish. needless to say, the house has been on the market 3 months without an offer.
i did get excused from jury duty. i was supposed to report May 30th.
el Jefe' has been home the month of May, but does day trips North twice a week. most of them have been on our nickel. it has been very nice to be together as a family.
we just found out that Punkin is number 2 on the waiting list at daycare in the North; however they do not expect an opening until August. he and Peanut have been on this waiting list since FEBRUARY 2. Peanut is number 12 on the infant list, and should get in by the end of August/early September, which coincides pretty well with FMLA leave. we planned on moving about a month after Peanut is born ... planning on early July ... but the daycare thing may throw a wrench into that. we've talked about delaying the move, but el Jefe' really needs to be back up North, and we need to stop paying for all these flights, but i really suck at being a single mother. just another pothole along the road ...
we haven't quite coordinated the shift from the 1-bedroom apartment up North to the 2-bedroom. it gets even cozier. there is not a space for me in our Northern office; they have not signed the lease yet for the office expansion. i've been through moves and remodels with this company, so i'm guessing i won't have a desk until next year. so, the 2-bedroom apartment with 2 adults, 2 kids, and maybe 2 dogs will also be my place of employment for several months.
speaking of 2 dogs, Abby at 105 years old is hanging in there, but has been having a rough time of it. she has kidney and liver issues, and is currently at the vet's office until Saturday. she quit eating so they put her on an IV. she's doing a lot better, so we should be able to bring her home this weekend. we don't expect much longevity out of her, but she keeps proving us wrong.
i'm still at work full time, and will probably even go in on Tuesday.
i've got a project to submit final plans, specs, and estimate tomorrow. i've got to submit final specs on another project Tuesday. although i've really cleared my plate, i have several things lingering out there that are out of my control (traffic control plans up at Lake Tahoe, a change order for a parking lot out at Lake Mead, and the interim paving package for the Hoover Dam Bypass, etc.) but i can only do so much. i'm clearly not the picture of glowing motherhood, but i just have too much going on right now.
or Peanut could show up tomorrow.
hope you all are well and your lives have more of a sense of normalcy.
we'll keep you updated.
love to all -- psoup.
my due date is June 2, and Peanut has been in position for awhile now, and my cervix is thinning. however, my doctor is concerned that i have too much scar tissue on my cervix due to multiple procedures and surgeries past and there has been absolutely no change in the last 3 weeks. so the first 30 weeks of the pregnancy they were worried that the Peanut was going to fall out, and now it appears they'll have to intervene to get the Peanut out.
i'm scheduled to check in the hospital Tuesday night, May 29th, when they will start me on "cervical ripening". i have to stay at the hospital, but i'll be able to walk around and eat. after about 12 hours, they'll start me on pitocin. there's still a chance the ripening won't work, so when i'm in real active labor they'll put me on pain medication and cut my cervix. my monitoring nurse has been very optimistic that i won't have to be cut, and has tried to reassure me that i don't know anything different than delivery on pitocin (my water broke with Punkin, so that was the route they took) so atleast i have experience. it is a bit of a relief knowing that the wait is almost over.
i have not sent any ultrasounds because they've all been awful. el Jefe' says we're going to have a blurry baby. we know that the baby has a lot of hair, long legs, and very big feet. my doctor says Peanut is relatively small, probably under 7 lbs. i've gained 25 lbs and am carrying really low.
we had two groups come through our house yesterday with no warning from our realtor. el Jefe' was able to take Punkin to the park during one showing, but was in the middle of cooking fish tacos during the other. we had not had anyone through in a month, so he let them through. i'm sure they were scared off by the barking dog, screaming kid running around in his pull-up, and the stinky smell of fish. needless to say, the house has been on the market 3 months without an offer.
i did get excused from jury duty. i was supposed to report May 30th.
el Jefe' has been home the month of May, but does day trips North twice a week. most of them have been on our nickel. it has been very nice to be together as a family.
we just found out that Punkin is number 2 on the waiting list at daycare in the North; however they do not expect an opening until August. he and Peanut have been on this waiting list since FEBRUARY 2. Peanut is number 12 on the infant list, and should get in by the end of August/early September, which coincides pretty well with FMLA leave. we planned on moving about a month after Peanut is born ... planning on early July ... but the daycare thing may throw a wrench into that. we've talked about delaying the move, but el Jefe' really needs to be back up North, and we need to stop paying for all these flights, but i really suck at being a single mother. just another pothole along the road ...
we haven't quite coordinated the shift from the 1-bedroom apartment up North to the 2-bedroom. it gets even cozier. there is not a space for me in our Northern office; they have not signed the lease yet for the office expansion. i've been through moves and remodels with this company, so i'm guessing i won't have a desk until next year. so, the 2-bedroom apartment with 2 adults, 2 kids, and maybe 2 dogs will also be my place of employment for several months.
speaking of 2 dogs, Abby at 105 years old is hanging in there, but has been having a rough time of it. she has kidney and liver issues, and is currently at the vet's office until Saturday. she quit eating so they put her on an IV. she's doing a lot better, so we should be able to bring her home this weekend. we don't expect much longevity out of her, but she keeps proving us wrong.
i'm still at work full time, and will probably even go in on Tuesday.
i've got a project to submit final plans, specs, and estimate tomorrow. i've got to submit final specs on another project Tuesday. although i've really cleared my plate, i have several things lingering out there that are out of my control (traffic control plans up at Lake Tahoe, a change order for a parking lot out at Lake Mead, and the interim paving package for the Hoover Dam Bypass, etc.) but i can only do so much. i'm clearly not the picture of glowing motherhood, but i just have too much going on right now.
or Peanut could show up tomorrow.
hope you all are well and your lives have more of a sense of normalcy.
we'll keep you updated.
love to all -- psoup.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
we have a plan
i'm still at 171 or 172 lbs. my blood pressure is good at 121 over 75. and we have a plan.
my gyn ob is recommending "cervical ripening" (el Jefe' made comments about a mango ... rather appropriate). i asked if it was like an enema. he described it as medication on gauze that is applied topically, although internally. i'll be at the hospital, but i can eat and walk around. after about 12 hours, they'll induce me with pitocin. hooray. and if my cervix doesn't cooperate, in the immortal words of my Mormon coworker, "they have drugs for that." my ob gyn describes them as good pain relief for when he cuts my cervix. isn't that a pleasant thought? makes you look forward to the episiotomy, too.
he suggested we do it in the next five days, but i negotiated for the Holiday weekend.
so Tuesday, May 29th, i check in to the hospital at 8:00 pm.
unless Peanut decides to show up sooner, that's the plan.
my gyn ob is recommending "cervical ripening" (el Jefe' made comments about a mango ... rather appropriate). i asked if it was like an enema. he described it as medication on gauze that is applied topically, although internally. i'll be at the hospital, but i can eat and walk around. after about 12 hours, they'll induce me with pitocin. hooray. and if my cervix doesn't cooperate, in the immortal words of my Mormon coworker, "they have drugs for that." my ob gyn describes them as good pain relief for when he cuts my cervix. isn't that a pleasant thought? makes you look forward to the episiotomy, too.
he suggested we do it in the next five days, but i negotiated for the Holiday weekend.
so Tuesday, May 29th, i check in to the hospital at 8:00 pm.
unless Peanut decides to show up sooner, that's the plan.
Monday, May 21, 2007
for just one more weekend
so i'm torn between moving on with my life, our lives, with a new baby, and hanging in there uncomfortable, sore swollen feet, gagging on acid, waddling, exhausted all the time for just one more weekend. that being Memorial Day weekend, a three-day weekend for those of us in the working world (non-government employees) who have made it through Holiday drought since January.
i got a little spoiled the past two weeks. i told el Jefe' that no matter my condition, and no matter what my ob-gyn says, i wanted to go to the lake and ride our Jet Skis one last time. riding Jet Skis at the lake (the-largest-man-made-body-of-water-in-the-continental-United-States lake) has been part of our lives since summer 1998. just the two of us, or the whole family, or with friends and moochers, we've had countless hours of fun and enjoyment. we've toured, we've putted around, we've tubed, we've skiied, we've wake boarded, and it has been a blast.
so the past two weekends, we've spent a couple hours at the lake. the Saturday before Mother's Day, we could only get the red ski started, but el Jefe' and i took turns with Punkin, and even went for a family ride as a three-some. the red ski is a three-seater, capable of towing, and as stable as can be ... kind of like an SUV. we never got over 25 mph, but we had a great day.
yesterday, after el Jefe' purchased a new battery for the yellow ski, we went again. Punkin rode with his daddy for the first time on the yellow ski yesterday. the yellow ski has the same engine (1100 cc) and horsepower (120) as the red ski, but it's only a two-seater; definately the sports car among the two. we took a longer ride and went to the Dam. Punkin waved at sailboats and the big paddlewheel boat. and i hauled my gut onto the yellow ski for a short solo run, never went much over 20 mph, but told el Jefe' that one single short ride was worth the price of the battery.
the Jet Skis and trailer are for sale due to too many environmental restrictions up North. i feel like every ride is my last; the end of an era. we have vowed to continue this past-time when we move. but for now, if i could, i would like to have just one more weekend at the lake with my family.
i got a little spoiled the past two weeks. i told el Jefe' that no matter my condition, and no matter what my ob-gyn says, i wanted to go to the lake and ride our Jet Skis one last time. riding Jet Skis at the lake (the-largest-man-made-body-of-water-in-the-continental-United-States lake) has been part of our lives since summer 1998. just the two of us, or the whole family, or with friends and moochers, we've had countless hours of fun and enjoyment. we've toured, we've putted around, we've tubed, we've skiied, we've wake boarded, and it has been a blast.
so the past two weekends, we've spent a couple hours at the lake. the Saturday before Mother's Day, we could only get the red ski started, but el Jefe' and i took turns with Punkin, and even went for a family ride as a three-some. the red ski is a three-seater, capable of towing, and as stable as can be ... kind of like an SUV. we never got over 25 mph, but we had a great day.
yesterday, after el Jefe' purchased a new battery for the yellow ski, we went again. Punkin rode with his daddy for the first time on the yellow ski yesterday. the yellow ski has the same engine (1100 cc) and horsepower (120) as the red ski, but it's only a two-seater; definately the sports car among the two. we took a longer ride and went to the Dam. Punkin waved at sailboats and the big paddlewheel boat. and i hauled my gut onto the yellow ski for a short solo run, never went much over 20 mph, but told el Jefe' that one single short ride was worth the price of the battery.
the Jet Skis and trailer are for sale due to too many environmental restrictions up North. i feel like every ride is my last; the end of an era. we have vowed to continue this past-time when we move. but for now, if i could, i would like to have just one more weekend at the lake with my family.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
i'm still pregnant
i'm still pregnant.
i've gained 25 lbs. my blood pressure is good. i've scored a 10 at monitoring sessions the past two weeks. and i've passed the duration i was pregnant with Punkin (37 weeks 3 days). my gyn ob has discussed the need to cut my cervix at my last two appointments. he has mentioned "good pain relief" both times. i wanted to go all natural, just to say i did, because i think i have a high tolerance for pain, because i didn't get the option with Punkin (my water broke and i was on Pitocin for 12 hours without dilating), but i guess that's not part of the plan. not like you get a gold medal, anyway.
i've got less than two weeks to go (i'm still not considering going over my due date, which i guess is a possibility.) el Jefe' is finally through the name book, but that doesn't mean we have any front runners. Peanut works just fine, right?
i didn't remove my engagement ring until i was in labor and delivery with Punkin. it's been off for a week now. i don't remember distinct elbows or karate kicks from the inside coming from Punkin, but apparently Peanut is a budding martial artist. i don't remember feeling as though the life force was sucked out of me (especially on weekends). i don't remember having such a hard time wiping my ass.
so sure, i'd like to be done with this part, but the thought of the next parts (Punkin while we're at the hospital, a new baby, breastfeeding, packing, and relocating 9 hours away) are a little more than i can fathom right now.
i've gained 25 lbs. my blood pressure is good. i've scored a 10 at monitoring sessions the past two weeks. and i've passed the duration i was pregnant with Punkin (37 weeks 3 days). my gyn ob has discussed the need to cut my cervix at my last two appointments. he has mentioned "good pain relief" both times. i wanted to go all natural, just to say i did, because i think i have a high tolerance for pain, because i didn't get the option with Punkin (my water broke and i was on Pitocin for 12 hours without dilating), but i guess that's not part of the plan. not like you get a gold medal, anyway.
i've got less than two weeks to go (i'm still not considering going over my due date, which i guess is a possibility.) el Jefe' is finally through the name book, but that doesn't mean we have any front runners. Peanut works just fine, right?
i didn't remove my engagement ring until i was in labor and delivery with Punkin. it's been off for a week now. i don't remember distinct elbows or karate kicks from the inside coming from Punkin, but apparently Peanut is a budding martial artist. i don't remember feeling as though the life force was sucked out of me (especially on weekends). i don't remember having such a hard time wiping my ass.
so sure, i'd like to be done with this part, but the thought of the next parts (Punkin while we're at the hospital, a new baby, breastfeeding, packing, and relocating 9 hours away) are a little more than i can fathom right now.
Monday, May 14, 2007
another day
we sucked at bocce ball. not really, we just lost two games right out of the chute, so we were doubly eliminated. no matter; we had fun. and eventually el Jefe' and i celebrated the anniversary of sorts.
thursday i felt awful. i have several coworkers who have been sick for weeks. upper respiratory. i felt a scratchy throat, and feverish, and a debilitating sense of exhaustion. it took everything i had to get Punkin to school. but somehow, i hung in there through the day. i was going to ask el Jefe' to cancel his day trip up North on Friday, but his meeting got cancelled so his trip was cancelled anyway. that was a relief.
thursday evening, my boss told me he has been reassigned. kind of a demotion. an undefined position (doesn't that sound familiar?) but they didn't fire him. i should've taken him for drinks and commiserated with him, but i'm not much fun in a bar these days. he made some comment how it didn't matter to me since i am having a baby. no, i told him, the baby just keeps me from worrying much about my career these days. it has been coming for months, and something needed to happen for months, and it finally did. his interim replacement got his graduate degree the year i was born. you could say he has some experience.
friday i backed my car into a trailer at Starbucks. pregnant women should not be allowed to drive. my own fault, my own stupidity. i swear, some of the panel pieces on my car are made out of paper. whatever. the damage is cosmetic. work was filled with lots of talk about my boss's interim replacement. oh, and i sent in the paperwork from my doctor to get me out of jury duty. that actually was a relief. or maybe my boss getting reassigned was a relief. i just felt better.
saturday we went jet skiing at the lake. we've been talking about it for a couple weeks. i know it was against doctor's orders, but it was important to me. removing and replacing the registration stickers made me sad. this activity has been a huge part of our lives for nine years. one ski needs a new battery so it didn't start. still, we all had a good day, and el Jefe' and i got sunburned (we're still feeling it).
Punkin spent saturday night throwing up. sunday was Mother's Day ( i got new jammies, perfume, and shampoo). and today's another day.
thursday i felt awful. i have several coworkers who have been sick for weeks. upper respiratory. i felt a scratchy throat, and feverish, and a debilitating sense of exhaustion. it took everything i had to get Punkin to school. but somehow, i hung in there through the day. i was going to ask el Jefe' to cancel his day trip up North on Friday, but his meeting got cancelled so his trip was cancelled anyway. that was a relief.
thursday evening, my boss told me he has been reassigned. kind of a demotion. an undefined position (doesn't that sound familiar?) but they didn't fire him. i should've taken him for drinks and commiserated with him, but i'm not much fun in a bar these days. he made some comment how it didn't matter to me since i am having a baby. no, i told him, the baby just keeps me from worrying much about my career these days. it has been coming for months, and something needed to happen for months, and it finally did. his interim replacement got his graduate degree the year i was born. you could say he has some experience.
friday i backed my car into a trailer at Starbucks. pregnant women should not be allowed to drive. my own fault, my own stupidity. i swear, some of the panel pieces on my car are made out of paper. whatever. the damage is cosmetic. work was filled with lots of talk about my boss's interim replacement. oh, and i sent in the paperwork from my doctor to get me out of jury duty. that actually was a relief. or maybe my boss getting reassigned was a relief. i just felt better.
saturday we went jet skiing at the lake. we've been talking about it for a couple weeks. i know it was against doctor's orders, but it was important to me. removing and replacing the registration stickers made me sad. this activity has been a huge part of our lives for nine years. one ski needs a new battery so it didn't start. still, we all had a good day, and el Jefe' and i got sunburned (we're still feeling it).
Punkin spent saturday night throwing up. sunday was Mother's Day ( i got new jammies, perfume, and shampoo). and today's another day.
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
doctor's orders
another visit (weekly) to the ob-gyn. i'm at 36 weeks and a couple days. still 170 pounds, with a good blood pressure of 120/72. i'm tired and my feet hurt. the Peanut's head is not engaged, and my cervix is still "way back there". walk or have sex: doctor's orders.
i'm starting to wrap things up at work. i have two projects due at the end of the month that i have the feeling i'm not going to be able to sign. and it doesn't bother me. i've done more than my fair share, and it's time to move on.
el Jefe', Punkin, and i did the 5K walk for Race for the Cure on Saturday. this was Punkin's third year of participation. he got a giant popsicle, a very cool t-shirt that is finally a kid's size, and we all had a good lunch (brunch) afterwards. i'm glad we didn't miss it.
on Sunday, i bowled three games for Corporate Challenge. our team of five varies from year to year, but three of us have bowled together consistently for the past five years (or something like that). our Captain (a former professional bowler) and i carried the team even though we are both women. i bowled well for me: 152, 182, and 136. several people, both men and women, wished they were pregnant so they could bowl better. every pin was work, but again, i'm glad i didn't miss it this year.
tonight is Corporate Challenge Bocce. again, i've been the Captain for a number of years. this one is particularly special and near and dear to my heart, not because i've got a silver medal from years and years ago. it's special because it marks the fourth anniversary of Punkin's conception. we weren't trying, and we just never thought it would happen. i came home tipsy (i did not have a 12-pack of Foster's as el Jefe' tells the story, but i did have plenty) and el Jefe' and i made passionate love, and we didn't take any precautions. now we have one terrific little boy who is 28-months old today.
maybe el Jefe' and i will try to get labor started tonight. for old times' sake.
i'm starting to wrap things up at work. i have two projects due at the end of the month that i have the feeling i'm not going to be able to sign. and it doesn't bother me. i've done more than my fair share, and it's time to move on.
el Jefe', Punkin, and i did the 5K walk for Race for the Cure on Saturday. this was Punkin's third year of participation. he got a giant popsicle, a very cool t-shirt that is finally a kid's size, and we all had a good lunch (brunch) afterwards. i'm glad we didn't miss it.
on Sunday, i bowled three games for Corporate Challenge. our team of five varies from year to year, but three of us have bowled together consistently for the past five years (or something like that). our Captain (a former professional bowler) and i carried the team even though we are both women. i bowled well for me: 152, 182, and 136. several people, both men and women, wished they were pregnant so they could bowl better. every pin was work, but again, i'm glad i didn't miss it this year.
tonight is Corporate Challenge Bocce. again, i've been the Captain for a number of years. this one is particularly special and near and dear to my heart, not because i've got a silver medal from years and years ago. it's special because it marks the fourth anniversary of Punkin's conception. we weren't trying, and we just never thought it would happen. i came home tipsy (i did not have a 12-pack of Foster's as el Jefe' tells the story, but i did have plenty) and el Jefe' and i made passionate love, and we didn't take any precautions. now we have one terrific little boy who is 28-months old today.
maybe el Jefe' and i will try to get labor started tonight. for old times' sake.
Monday, May 07, 2007
are you feelin' lucky?
so much to tell, yet my latest challenge takes the cake.
i'm 42. i'm in my ninth month of pregnancy, feasibly overcoming my age and cevical incompetancy risk factors. we don't have a name for the baby (other than Peanut). i work full-time outside the home in a career that i find unrewarding. my husband got a promotion nearly four months ago, and has been spending quite a bit of time over 400 miles away in a one-bedroom apartment. our home has been on the market, for sale, nearly three months without an offer. after the baby is born, we will relocate North, over 400 miles away. our two-year-old Punkin has been on a waiting list at day care in the North for over four months, with two more months to go. it will be two adults, two kids, and two dogs in a two-bedroom apartment (we have yet to sign a lease). one of the dogs is incontinent and 105 years old. i will transfer to an office with no physical space for me, so the two-bedroom apartment will serve yet another function ... my place of employment. i have no definitive job description or duties when i transfer North. i will be leaving behind my parents, aged 71 and 82, probably at a time when they need assistance most. we are looking at a potential IRS audit for the tax year 2005.
i got a jury summons in the mail for the end of May. four days shy of my due date.
i'm 42. i'm in my ninth month of pregnancy, feasibly overcoming my age and cevical incompetancy risk factors. we don't have a name for the baby (other than Peanut). i work full-time outside the home in a career that i find unrewarding. my husband got a promotion nearly four months ago, and has been spending quite a bit of time over 400 miles away in a one-bedroom apartment. our home has been on the market, for sale, nearly three months without an offer. after the baby is born, we will relocate North, over 400 miles away. our two-year-old Punkin has been on a waiting list at day care in the North for over four months, with two more months to go. it will be two adults, two kids, and two dogs in a two-bedroom apartment (we have yet to sign a lease). one of the dogs is incontinent and 105 years old. i will transfer to an office with no physical space for me, so the two-bedroom apartment will serve yet another function ... my place of employment. i have no definitive job description or duties when i transfer North. i will be leaving behind my parents, aged 71 and 82, probably at a time when they need assistance most. we are looking at a potential IRS audit for the tax year 2005.
i got a jury summons in the mail for the end of May. four days shy of my due date.
Friday, May 04, 2007
what if
the traffic through our house in the South seems to be tapering off. i honestly don't know if anyone has been through the house in the past two weeks (tapering off to nothing). there are a ton of homes in the Valley on the market; the problem is excess inventory. but the only way i know to get some more interest is to lower the price. no matter what we'll make money. but it truly is an exercise in patience. we don't want to give it away. we want to protect our investment. but when do we say when? and how much is it going to take to find a buyer who will make an offer?
we've held off on scheduling the upgrade to the two bedroom apartment up North. what if only a third floor apartment is available? worse yet, what if there isn't one available? how many months will we be paying rent in the North and a mortgage in the South? yes, we've considered a renter in the South, but i'm worried about the liability of the pool. and the condition of the house. and then there's a down payment that would decimate our savings and we'd be taking on a mortgage more than double what we have now.
my work is basically handled. i have loose ends to tie up, but i've got enough back up plans in place that they can survive without me (and they will). el Jefe's employer is being relatively flexible ... he's a good employee and has not asked for any out-of-the-question concessions. that part of our lives is taken care of. (does it say something about ourselves that our own lives, our home lives, are not?)
i really haven't considered going over the Peanut's due date of June 2nd (May 33rd). early June, or really late May, seemed like a good time ... spend our last month, the month of June, in the South and relocate North at the beginning of July (maybe take advantage of a July 4th Holiday?). if the Peanut is late, and since my gyn-ob thinks i'm small, maybe he wants more baking time, the schedule shifts ... maybe a little less convenient?
and the big one ... what if Peanut is not the picture of health?
we've held off on scheduling the upgrade to the two bedroom apartment up North. what if only a third floor apartment is available? worse yet, what if there isn't one available? how many months will we be paying rent in the North and a mortgage in the South? yes, we've considered a renter in the South, but i'm worried about the liability of the pool. and the condition of the house. and then there's a down payment that would decimate our savings and we'd be taking on a mortgage more than double what we have now.
my work is basically handled. i have loose ends to tie up, but i've got enough back up plans in place that they can survive without me (and they will). el Jefe's employer is being relatively flexible ... he's a good employee and has not asked for any out-of-the-question concessions. that part of our lives is taken care of. (does it say something about ourselves that our own lives, our home lives, are not?)
i really haven't considered going over the Peanut's due date of June 2nd (May 33rd). early June, or really late May, seemed like a good time ... spend our last month, the month of June, in the South and relocate North at the beginning of July (maybe take advantage of a July 4th Holiday?). if the Peanut is late, and since my gyn-ob thinks i'm small, maybe he wants more baking time, the schedule shifts ... maybe a little less convenient?
and the big one ... what if Peanut is not the picture of health?
Thursday, May 03, 2007
long and winding road
after a one week hiatus, i went to the gyn-ob on Tuesday. a whopping 170 lbs, with a decent blood pressure of 125/70. my weight gain is still ok ... i'm just a bit disgusted that i started out so heavy. the Peanut is not in position. my cervix is "way back there". i am small (or the Peanut is small). ya know, these are not very comforting statements.
when i was pregnant with the Punkin, i heard how large his head was at nearly every ultrasound (which is a lot when you are old and have the risk of an incompetant cervix). this time i've heard how large the Peanut's feet are, and how long and crooked the birth canal is. is it better not to know these things?
when i was pregnant with the Punkin, i heard how large his head was at nearly every ultrasound (which is a lot when you are old and have the risk of an incompetant cervix). this time i've heard how large the Peanut's feet are, and how long and crooked the birth canal is. is it better not to know these things?
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
guess who's coming to dinner?
so my brother-in-law, the eldest's husband, got a letter from the IRS about owing back taxes from 2005 on rental property in Hawaii. fortunately, in his case, it is not identity theft. unfortunately, in my case, it is our rental property in Hawaii.
my parents named us all with the same first initial. i think they thought it was cute, especially having three girls. we were like little show ponies, and it really is quite sickening. the same first initial causing stuttering when aggravated. and they often go through the list of names, including the dog (who has a different first initial), in an attempt to exclaim the right name. coupled with this is the fact that they applied for our social security numbers all at the same time, and even though there are 6 years separating the 3 of us, we have consecutive numbers (appropriately mine is the smallest, middle has the middle, and the eldest has the largest).
so it could be the initials, or the proximity of the social security number, but it looks like we stand a very good chance of getting audited. it will most likely be the day the movers show up.
"sure, Agent Pain-in-the-Ass, the 2005 tax forms are in that box, that looks just like the other 150 boxes. do you mind breastfeeding this baby while i change Punkin's poopy diaper (with corn in it!)? oh look, here come some potential buyers of our house without an appointment ... maybe you can make sure the crippled one doesn't fall down the stairs? oh, and don't mind that wet spot ... it's just from the 105-year-old incontinent dog. sorry, el Jefe' couldn't be here. he had to drive 8 hours North to switch apartments, pay another deposit, and hump furniture alone across the parking lot because we don't know anyone up North and my family is worthless. we've paid taxes on this money several times ... that's the Hawaii way ... but we still owe you money? not just from 2005, but 2003 and 2004, too? oh here, let me write you a check. it's no problem at all because even though my company doesn't have maternity leave (or an office or cube for me to transfer to), i get 4 whole weeks at 66 2/3 pay. we've been running two households since February. hell, take Punkin's savings account while you're at it."
so with the Peanut, i am not concerned about consecutive social security numbers. but in terms of a name, i've omitted three letters from the alphabet (the first initial of my name, el Jefe's, and Punkin's). wow, it just doesn't get any easier than that.
my parents named us all with the same first initial. i think they thought it was cute, especially having three girls. we were like little show ponies, and it really is quite sickening. the same first initial causing stuttering when aggravated. and they often go through the list of names, including the dog (who has a different first initial), in an attempt to exclaim the right name. coupled with this is the fact that they applied for our social security numbers all at the same time, and even though there are 6 years separating the 3 of us, we have consecutive numbers (appropriately mine is the smallest, middle has the middle, and the eldest has the largest).
so it could be the initials, or the proximity of the social security number, but it looks like we stand a very good chance of getting audited. it will most likely be the day the movers show up.
"sure, Agent Pain-in-the-Ass, the 2005 tax forms are in that box, that looks just like the other 150 boxes. do you mind breastfeeding this baby while i change Punkin's poopy diaper (with corn in it!)? oh look, here come some potential buyers of our house without an appointment ... maybe you can make sure the crippled one doesn't fall down the stairs? oh, and don't mind that wet spot ... it's just from the 105-year-old incontinent dog. sorry, el Jefe' couldn't be here. he had to drive 8 hours North to switch apartments, pay another deposit, and hump furniture alone across the parking lot because we don't know anyone up North and my family is worthless. we've paid taxes on this money several times ... that's the Hawaii way ... but we still owe you money? not just from 2005, but 2003 and 2004, too? oh here, let me write you a check. it's no problem at all because even though my company doesn't have maternity leave (or an office or cube for me to transfer to), i get 4 whole weeks at 66 2/3 pay. we've been running two households since February. hell, take Punkin's savings account while you're at it."
so with the Peanut, i am not concerned about consecutive social security numbers. but in terms of a name, i've omitted three letters from the alphabet (the first initial of my name, el Jefe's, and Punkin's). wow, it just doesn't get any easier than that.
Monday, April 30, 2007
dodging bullets
el Jefe' drove his Jeep Cherokee with 95,000 miles on it home on Saturday. it is a huge relief to have him home, even if he will be making day trips North a couple days a week. day trips are do-able. he's only a couple hours away. overnights are scarey; the last flight is at 10:00 pm; the first flight is at 6:00 am, and the drive is about 8 hours.
so we dodged that bullet, the "go into labor" bullet when the husband is over 400 miles away.
it's kind of like a saloon gun fight scene from an old spaghetti western. people shooting, and guys rolling under tables and diving over the bar for cover. broken glass and spilled alcohol everywhere, but nobody seems fatally hurt.
bullet No. 2: i did not come home to a dead dog in the past two months. it was a real possibility. how would i explain it to Punkin? how would i move her body, and where would i put it until i could take her to the vet to get her cremated? she's 105; she's incontinent; and her insides are a wreck (judging by the vet bills over the past two months) but she's still kicking. we used to think Abby wouldn't make the trip up North. looks like she's proving us wrong.
bullet No. 2.5: nothing seriously went wrong with the house while el Jefe' was gone. i am quite handy, but am somewhat limited due to my "delicate" condition. (this is all so "knock on wood".) our appliances didn't spontaneously burst into flames, or any of those emergency catastrophes that require immediate attention, muscle, and exorbitant amounts of cash in the past two months.
bullet No. 3: it does not appear my parents will be moving North anytime soon. it is not that i don't want them there; it would be so much easier to hop in the car and help if they need something, instead of flying or driving 8 hours in an emergency. i want them to make an informed choice for the right reasons. they looked at ONE retirement community. my mother actually said the homes were "lovely". they would downsize a bit. but it's a smaller community, and prices have risen drastically in the past 7 years, and it snows up North (duh). Paw Paw said they would only move there if we bought a house in the companion non-age-restricted community, where prices START $200,000 MORE than we are willing to spend. and it's not in an area conducive to either of our commutes.
so we're rolling and diving, and getting dirty and a little soaked in alcohol, but we don't have any mortal wounds. but there is that call i got on Saturday from a brother-in-law about a potential IRS audit ... ping!
so we dodged that bullet, the "go into labor" bullet when the husband is over 400 miles away.
it's kind of like a saloon gun fight scene from an old spaghetti western. people shooting, and guys rolling under tables and diving over the bar for cover. broken glass and spilled alcohol everywhere, but nobody seems fatally hurt.
bullet No. 2: i did not come home to a dead dog in the past two months. it was a real possibility. how would i explain it to Punkin? how would i move her body, and where would i put it until i could take her to the vet to get her cremated? she's 105; she's incontinent; and her insides are a wreck (judging by the vet bills over the past two months) but she's still kicking. we used to think Abby wouldn't make the trip up North. looks like she's proving us wrong.
bullet No. 2.5: nothing seriously went wrong with the house while el Jefe' was gone. i am quite handy, but am somewhat limited due to my "delicate" condition. (this is all so "knock on wood".) our appliances didn't spontaneously burst into flames, or any of those emergency catastrophes that require immediate attention, muscle, and exorbitant amounts of cash in the past two months.
bullet No. 3: it does not appear my parents will be moving North anytime soon. it is not that i don't want them there; it would be so much easier to hop in the car and help if they need something, instead of flying or driving 8 hours in an emergency. i want them to make an informed choice for the right reasons. they looked at ONE retirement community. my mother actually said the homes were "lovely". they would downsize a bit. but it's a smaller community, and prices have risen drastically in the past 7 years, and it snows up North (duh). Paw Paw said they would only move there if we bought a house in the companion non-age-restricted community, where prices START $200,000 MORE than we are willing to spend. and it's not in an area conducive to either of our commutes.
so we're rolling and diving, and getting dirty and a little soaked in alcohol, but we don't have any mortal wounds. but there is that call i got on Saturday from a brother-in-law about a potential IRS audit ... ping!
Friday, April 27, 2007
growing old together
yesterday was el Jefe's 46th birthday. i realized he is getting closer to 50 than 40. i'm four years behind, but it is an astonishing prospect to be parents to two kids who aren't even teenagers when we're in our 50's. yikes.
he flew home yesterday morning and worked out of his Southern office. it's a crazy week for him. he flew North Sunday night, South Tuesday morning, North Wednesday morning, South Thursday morning, and North this morning (Friday). he's driving his Jeep Cherokee back South Saturday morning as he will be based out of the South the month of May in case the Peanut makes an early appearance.
his gifts weren't extravagant. i forgot to have Punkin scribble crayons on his card. i didn't even take him out to dinner. not even a cake. but that's the way the years has gone. thank goodness Punkin's birthday was before the chaos of the promotion and relocation. the rest of our events thus far have kind of fallen by the wayside (our anniversary, my birthday, and now his). i see this trend continuing through Mother's Day and Father's Day. maybe into the fall? hopefully not Christmas. oh well.
el Jefe' said the best present of all was being able to spend his birthday with his family. is it any wonder why i love this man?
he flew home yesterday morning and worked out of his Southern office. it's a crazy week for him. he flew North Sunday night, South Tuesday morning, North Wednesday morning, South Thursday morning, and North this morning (Friday). he's driving his Jeep Cherokee back South Saturday morning as he will be based out of the South the month of May in case the Peanut makes an early appearance.
his gifts weren't extravagant. i forgot to have Punkin scribble crayons on his card. i didn't even take him out to dinner. not even a cake. but that's the way the years has gone. thank goodness Punkin's birthday was before the chaos of the promotion and relocation. the rest of our events thus far have kind of fallen by the wayside (our anniversary, my birthday, and now his). i see this trend continuing through Mother's Day and Father's Day. maybe into the fall? hopefully not Christmas. oh well.
el Jefe' said the best present of all was being able to spend his birthday with his family. is it any wonder why i love this man?
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
without a paddle
did i mention my parents stated they would move North as well?
they began their journey on Sunday, opting to drive for 9 hours instead of taking the hour and 10 minute flight. that is something i will never understand. i don't know if it is the cost or a fear of flying. growing up, we rarely flew anywhere. my first airplane ride was to Germany (can't drive there!) when i was in the third grade. we even drove to Mexico (Acapulco, not just across the border) on one or two occasions. Paw Paw does all the driving. neither is a good driver. and el Jefe' reported on Monday that Paw Paw got a speeding ticket.
North is very different from South. it's more than the weather. it's population, elevation, and just the way of life. higher elevation, less population, and fewer established amenities. my parents have a large home in a retirement community. it is upscale, and their tastes are reflected quite differently than ours. lots of brass, oriental rugs, crystal chandeliers ... the middle describes every ceiling fan as something that fell off a Home Depot semi. they use china, and crystal, and real silverware. of course there is a difference due to their age and generation. our realtor, Linda, says there are only two retirement communities up North. there are two within 10 miles of our home in the South, and both are more upscale than the ones available in the North. i think they are going to be disappointed. as of Monday, el Jefe' reported Nonna was ready to come home.
el Jefe' and i attended a prepared childbirth refresher course yesterday evening. Punkin's godmother (Lola) and her 23-year-old daughter Courtney spent the evening with Punkin (notice my parents were conveniently out of town when we needed assistance?). my greatest worry is who is going to watch Punkin while i'm in labor. there is a part of me that thinks, and hopes it goes fast to limit our time apart from Punkin. and Lola and Courtney are on board if it's on a weekend. but they have jobs, and it is a little much to ask of them to miss work.
Paw Paw is 82 and has NEVER changed a diaper. ever. Nonna is 72 and has never changed one of Punkin's diapers. they'll have trouble with the stairs in our house. we worry that they won't or can't keep a constant eye on Punkin. they aren't conditioned to wake up from a nap at the sound of a pin drop. and there is too much for him to destroy at their house.
i learned over 20 years ago to ask for very little from my parents. help, whether physical or financial, comes with far too many strings attached. but now i'm left empty handed, no tools in the tool box for this one.
they began their journey on Sunday, opting to drive for 9 hours instead of taking the hour and 10 minute flight. that is something i will never understand. i don't know if it is the cost or a fear of flying. growing up, we rarely flew anywhere. my first airplane ride was to Germany (can't drive there!) when i was in the third grade. we even drove to Mexico (Acapulco, not just across the border) on one or two occasions. Paw Paw does all the driving. neither is a good driver. and el Jefe' reported on Monday that Paw Paw got a speeding ticket.
North is very different from South. it's more than the weather. it's population, elevation, and just the way of life. higher elevation, less population, and fewer established amenities. my parents have a large home in a retirement community. it is upscale, and their tastes are reflected quite differently than ours. lots of brass, oriental rugs, crystal chandeliers ... the middle describes every ceiling fan as something that fell off a Home Depot semi. they use china, and crystal, and real silverware. of course there is a difference due to their age and generation. our realtor, Linda, says there are only two retirement communities up North. there are two within 10 miles of our home in the South, and both are more upscale than the ones available in the North. i think they are going to be disappointed. as of Monday, el Jefe' reported Nonna was ready to come home.
el Jefe' and i attended a prepared childbirth refresher course yesterday evening. Punkin's godmother (Lola) and her 23-year-old daughter Courtney spent the evening with Punkin (notice my parents were conveniently out of town when we needed assistance?). my greatest worry is who is going to watch Punkin while i'm in labor. there is a part of me that thinks, and hopes it goes fast to limit our time apart from Punkin. and Lola and Courtney are on board if it's on a weekend. but they have jobs, and it is a little much to ask of them to miss work.
Paw Paw is 82 and has NEVER changed a diaper. ever. Nonna is 72 and has never changed one of Punkin's diapers. they'll have trouble with the stairs in our house. we worry that they won't or can't keep a constant eye on Punkin. they aren't conditioned to wake up from a nap at the sound of a pin drop. and there is too much for him to destroy at their house.
i learned over 20 years ago to ask for very little from my parents. help, whether physical or financial, comes with far too many strings attached. but now i'm left empty handed, no tools in the tool box for this one.
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