epiphany

well, it has been two months and i am thinking about getting another haircut. ok, a trim. amazing since i went something like 13 months before my last one. plus i’ve got a coupon burning a hole in my pocket! too bad i don’t have another 10-inch ponytail to donate to Locks of Love. while i’ll admit the prenatal vitamins are good, they’re not THAT good.

i started the day dropping off Punkin a half hour early so i could get to a stupid project meeting, with a stupid client, with a stupid utility company that has received electronic files something like a dozen times on the project and has ignored our requests for relocation design for the past three years. the utility folks were late, and the meeting lasted 45 minutes and i easily spent the next four hours getting yet another set of electronic files together for the utility company. it’s all part of being a consultant. forgive me if i’m a little bitter that the stupid utility company won’t acknowledge me and i have been managing the project for the last three years. Punkin was none the worse for wear, but i resent messing with his schedule for such a frustrating and unrewarding job experience.

that is my struggle. i don’t think i could stand being a stay-at-home mom. Punkin is a wonderful kid, and yet i need some time away from him. i don’t think i can provide the social, educational, and artistic environment he gets at school. yet my career as an engineer is frustrating and unrewarding. i am transitioning into new roles as an engineer and am finding some things i like about my job, my career (which is amazing to admit to myself!), but i still dislike most of my clients, and marketing (schmoozing), and my projects are nothing to write home about. the projects are why i got into this business.

ah ha! maybe i’ve identified the root of my career dissatisfaction.

now what do i do about the haircut coupon that expires tomorrow?