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i have yet to post a photo in my profile. i have to admit i am not very photogenic, and having low self esteem does not help, either. i take great pride in that i am low maintenance, no hair dryer, no make-up, haven’t colored the grey in fifteen years … i wish i looked better, but i obviously have not invested the time, effort, or money into the products. at least el Jefe’ doesn’t seem to mind (he thinks i’m cute, and it is part of my character) and at this point Punkin doesn’t know enough to judge. eventually i’ll find something to post.

the lack of a photo in my profile is part of the anonymity. i haven’t told a soul i’ve started this blog, including el Jefe’. i’m not sure how i would explain my comments to friends or family. i currently control the tidbits of my life i share with them, and those that i share in this blog, and the sets are mutually exclusive. i also have lost touch with the majority of my past, probably consciously. i haven’t been to a single high school reunion, and doubt i ever will. i’m about as happy as i’ve ever been in my life, which isn’t saying much, except i was miserable growing up and have no desire to turn back time and relive my childhood, my teen age years, or high school, or college, or my first marriage. i’m not ashamed of who i was back then, nor am i ashamed of who i am now even though i still don’t know what i want to be when i grow up. mostly, i’m not interested in them.

no face. no name. no audience.