tv or not tv

i miss the second nap.

lately, it seems, Punkin misses it too. after el Jefe' picked him up from school (daycare), Punkin would get an hour or so nap before dinner. i'd come home, enter our home quietly, and hear the tv (news). the front door would be unlocked because Punkin was in his crib and it was safe to have the front door unlocked (no escaping!). i could deal with my many bags, my purse, my gym bag and wet bathing suit, and my important bag of shit (brief case). i could change my clothes alone. it's not like i could sit and read, decompress, but i didn't have to be instantly on my mom game.

Punkin doesn't get to watch tv, and probably won't for another year. the tv (or two) is constantly on at my parents' house, but we work to distract him from rotting his brain. the two times it has been on in our home while he was awake were for a little Super Bowl party with my parents, and for a recent Monday Night Football game when i was out of town on travel. i've read it's potentially linked to ADD, or ADHD, and really, Punkin is amused without it. he plays with toys, or we read books, or we go outside and watch for airplanes or motorcycles.

i'm not big on network tv. i get the deer in the headlight stare and nod when my coworkers and colleagues talk about 24, or the Amazing Race, or American Idol, or whatever. i don't think i'm missing out on anything particularly entertaining. but i rarely get to see a movie on cable from beginning to end. it usually takes three viewings to see an entire film. we've been to a movie theater once since he was born. we got advanced tickets to a matinee of Pirates of the Caribbean 2, but i had to leave before the end of the movie fearing they'd be holding Punkin for ransom at daycare because i was late.

so i miss the mind-numbing effects of tv on myself, and the escape that a film can bring.

and the last half-hour before Punkin's bedtime is occasionally dangerously close to melt-down. and i physically have to wake him up in the morning. i'm not sure it's because it gets light later, or he's not getting enough sleep.

i want more sleep even though my body is pretty much incapable of 8 hours a day. i want my mind to be empty. i just want to relax.