no respect

i thought that in writing yesterday's post, i would get all of the bad vibes out of my system and have a decent day. hah!

i almost quit my job yesterday. my supervisor didn't "invite" me to a meeting on a project i am intimately involved in. i have been telling him for months that the deadlines are too aggressive, and our work product is suffering. i also compliment him on maintaining schedule as well as the relationship he has built with the client. he has ignored me for months. i even brought our department manager into it. yesterday, he delivered a proverbial slap in the face. he announced at the meeting i wasn't invited to that he is delaying the submittal approximately one week. the kicker was he finally listened to someone who hasn't been involved in the project who has half the experience i do. folks say, "who cares, you'll be gone anyway." no, i'll come back from leave to this same situation, yet i won't have the luxury of going down the hall and confronting it. it will be telephone, and e-mail, and an occasional trip where i haul around the pump for a day. i can't wait.

i also got an e-mail from a client requesting yet another free service. the project was submitted in April 2006, and we were long past out of money by then. i inherited the project because the project engineer quit in January 2006 and the project manager quit in February 2006. they were incompetent, and the project was a loser. any client request i fulfill is on overhead, and more times than not, it is for free. this project does absolutely nothing for my self esteem. and i feel like i don't have any more to give.

i'll say it again. my projects are unrewarding. and i can't take the bullshit on top of crappy projects.

Punkin got written up for hitting at daycare. it came with a note from his teacher (that i never see because she works 9 am to 4 pm) with an urgent plea for help and to call her. it had misspellings and grammatical mistakes, and of course it pushed a hot button with me. we have gotten many reports that Punkin will not leave his shoes and socks on at school. he is fine at home, and we don't wear our shoes in the house (hence our ten-year-old carpeting still looks pretty damn good). but this was the first we heard of hitting.

i knew the first words out of her mouth would have to do with my pregnancy (they were about the "new baby"). and i had to discuss the fact that el Jefe' has relocated up North, although he is home this week (is he a truck driver?). and i mentioned that Punkin seems to have stopped swearing, but has substituted hitting. the conversation was fine, and nice, and she was understanding. but no one seems to get that we are trying not to make a big deal about the Peanut, nor are we trying to make a big deal out of relocating up North. it is going to be hard enough on the Punkin, and we know and anticipate that, so why should he have to anticipate that for the next several months?

but at work and in parenting, what do i know?