vertically challenged

i’m 5’-5”. i used to say 5’-5 and ¾” because i was oh-so-close to being 5’-6”, but my posture isn’t stellar, and i’ve had two back surgeries, and achieving 5’-6” just isn’t in the realm of possibility anymore. i own two pairs of shoes with heals; they’re dress shoes, and as such they are worn only once or twice a year.

according to my inexact survey of women’s fashions (remember, i was born without the shopping gene) i am a midget.

last Sunday, i was determined to purchase a new pair of jeans. i had wandered through Target previously on more than one occasion in the past couple weeks, and it was apparent that my favorite store could not fulfill my dream. maternity, or just a size or two bigger than normal, every pair was just too long. by several inches. so i ventured to a local department store with reasonable prices and a petites section, armed with a 15% off coupon and lured by a “lowest prices of the season” advertisement. i selected four different pairs of jeans from the petites section, and two from maternity. size choices in the petites section were minimal, and in my current overweight state, nothing was even remotely acceptable, and i couldn’t go up a size because it wasn’t available. i normally wear a 6, or in a 30x30 in men’s. 8’s didn’t work, and 14’s were my next available option. maternity mediums were roomy in the waist (fortunately) but extremely too long. 3” stilettos would still require inches of hemming, and then i still would risk falling on my face regularly. i wandered to the women’s section, where they featured two store-brand styles that come in three different lengths: tall, average, and short.

i purchased a size 10 short. with the sale and discount coupon, they ended up being less than $15 (before tax). even in my growing state, i’ll get a couple weeks of wear out of them. all that said, they are still too long. ok, i’m wearing tennis shoes, but they’re dragging. i’ll only get a couple weeks of wear out of them because the backs will be trashed. short equals a 30” inseam. i measured them this morning (i am such an engineer.)

how can a woman who is 5’-5” be shorter than short?