e-mail to my family

Hello All,

Since i unfortunately was the messenger of this controversial subject, i first would like to state that moving the venue was NOT my idea, NOR did i have any say in the matter.

The timeshare resort selected by dad has the following website : www.tahoeseasons.com
It is in South Lake Tahoe, which is in the State of California. Last i knew, gambling was limited to Indian (Native American) Casinos in California. The gambling age in Nevada is 21. It is illegal for the kids under the age of 21 to play slot machines, or video poker, or black jack (even War!) for that matter. Parents and guardians are responsible for monitoring their children’s activities (so you have to escort your children through a casino so they don’t stick a quarter in a machine). Nevada also passed a smoking ban in the November election. Although smoking is still allowed in casinos, it is not allowed in establishments that serve food. i believe if a bar sells food, then smoking is prohibited in the bar as well. So, the kids under the age of 21 will not be subjected to smoke when they are illegally throwing down their tequila shots (the drinking age in Nevada is 21 as well). The timeshare resort is a non-smoking facility, and does not allow pets.

We are basically in separate hotel rooms, whether it is in Zion or Lake Tahoe. Granted, they are hotel rooms with amenities, but it’s not like the condo experience we had in Steamboat. Separate families, separate bedrooms. If you choose to bunk up, that’s your prerogative. el Jefe' and i will not be sharing with anyone but our immediate family. The Peanut probably won’t be on solid food, and i probably won’t have access to sterilization and refrigeration, so Iill be tied a three-hour schedule the entire time in either location. That’s my penance.

You can camp at either place. Feel free to haul all your camping equipment. i’d offer up ours, but we’ll be hauling all the baby equipment. i know you cannot get a campsite at Zion for less than $10/night. This is about mom and dad’s 50th anniversary, and not our dream vacation. We could be forking out thousands upon thousands of dollars to host them a dinner in Chicago. Can you hear my silent screams of horror?!?

Geography 101: Lake Tahoe is 55 miles from Reno/Tahoe International Airport. The drive is approximately 1 hour, 15 minutes. Don’t let the International fool you. i believe there are two sets of gates with less than ten gates at each. Zion National Park is 170 miles from McCarran International Airport (Las Vegas). The drive is approximately 2 hours, 40 minutes. The airports are 460 miles apart, or a 9 hour drive. Our father will be on the cusp of 83 years old, and will most likely drive to either destination. Having him behind the wheel for 2 hours is less detrimental to the traveling public than 10 hours. The Florida Keys were discussed between the middle and me, but eliminated because dad will drive. All i can say is fortunately they do not have a car seat; we use that excuse often so as not to endanger our son.

Middle: Please ask your Zion local friends about availability of fishing. We have been in a horrible drought for many years. That includes Utah, as the Virgin River also provides water to Lake Mead. el Jefe', step daughter, and i were at Zion in 2003 and the Virgin River was flowing at 10% of capacity at that time. i know no one will particularly care about the quality of fishing, but i’m just hoping there is some water to throw a line into. i guess the same applies to tubing. Not sure the weather that time of year will be all that conducive to tubing, but it won’t matter if you’re scraping your bottom on rocks.

Since everyone has such negative things to say about Nevada, i'd just like to add that Zion is located in Utah, a state filled with bigotry and hypocrisy. i think that’s the penance you pay for all the beauty in the scenery. i lived and worked there, and paid taxes there, so i have a right to say that. i believe you can protect your children from gambling and smoking much more so than you can bigotry and hypocrisy.

Neither mom nor dad is about earthly beauty, hiking, peace and quiet, etc. They can appreciate that from the car window. They have done Zion as a day trip. They still enjoy outlet mall shopping and eating protein and carbs. They will be disappointed by the restaurants in Zion. Mom just wants someone to spend money on her. Dad made reference to “providing for my family” (offering up timeshare units), plus we suspect he got a letter saying he has timeshare points to burn (use it or lose it). This gives you an idea where they are coming from. Why Tahoe vs Zion? The only reason they’ve been married 50 years is because they cannot communicate with each other.

Similarly, i know that mom and dad would prefer color photography. If you insist on black and white, you will have to colorize their prints for them to show any amount of gratitude. i have no preference.

Please don’t imply that Lake Tahoe is a concession for el Jefe', Punkin, Peanut and me. We have not asked for any help in any way from mom and dad, and have not received any in return. They have never spent time alone with Punkin. They have never even changed one of his diapers. They conveniently went on a time share thing in San Diego (and then to LA) when we were just getting ready to put our house on the market (can you say honey-do? How about when you’re six months pregnant?) and el Jefe' was moving up North. They are going up to Tahoe in April on a timeshare thing during el Jefe’s birthday and our childbirth refresher course. i personally am frustrated by their empty offers, but el Jefe' and i agree that sometimes no help is better than the risk of the alternative.

i have told dad that i have no preference, and plans have been made. i asked not to be put in the middle of this. Just like everyone has their stereotypes, everyone has their perceptions. i don’t have the time or energy to fight, but i also don’t have the time or energy to raise two more children (who happen to be celebrating their 50th anniversary).

i really do look forward to seeing you all in October. el Jefe' and i will most likely need the escape from the two bedroom apartment, with two kids and two dogs (if Abby makes it that long). At least we’ll be together.