same story, different year

back to the grind, and i was reminded several times today of why it is a grind. i was out of bed at roughly 2:00 am, worrying that i needed to modify a contract initiation form (CIF) to include administrative tasks in Activity 001, instead of scattering them between Activities 001 through 003. seriously, i stewed about this. as my brain went into minutia over-drive, i headed downstairs to paint my toe nails and watch some idiot box in hopes that i would not disturb el Jefe’. i think i eventually got another hour and a half of interrupted sleep. no wonder i started the day cranky.

and no, i really wasn’t very cheery at work today. it started with a stupid question from a gen y coworker in the midst of my “go to the bathroom first while the decaf brews” routine. and then there was the CIF. and then i found an error in the CIF template; after three attempts, i think i got it right. (is the appropriate saying “third times a charm” or “three strikes you're out”?) i scratched my head for a couple hours on a project and informed the Project Manager we could never improve a deficiency using the client’s methodology (which means i was the messenger of bad news). i was nagged about two deadlines; a presentation due next week and an action item list due TODAY. (gee, thanks for all your consideration of an advanced warning, especially immediately after a holiday!) my department manager is supposed to put together the list, so technically it’s her responsibility, but she’ll ask me to handle it anyway. same with the presentation. oh! and my client who ignores our project wanted something today. i had a question for him last week, but he used weather in Denver as an excuse not to get back to me. then he wants a cost estimate TODAY. that’s a hot button!

i spent an hour in Toys R’ Us shopping for Punkin’s birthday. i really wanted to get him a concrete truck (i’m an engineer, and i taught my son to appropriately identify concrete trucks, not cement trucks). there was only one concrete truck in the whole store, age appropriate or not, and it was remote controlled, so i opted against it. i envisioned a sturdy Tonka truck, rated for 3+ but no. excavators, dump trucks, and even garbage trucks (where is that fascination coming from?), but no concrete trucks. i settled for an age appropriate fire engine, because Punkin can recognize fire trucks as well. he has so many toys, mainly due to hand-me-downs from the Middle and her twins, that i try to be very selective about what i get him. i want those few gifts to be perfect.

it’s not perfectionism that i am striving for in my life. but i don’t want to settle for mediocrity.