ramblings of ocurrences and preparations

i'm all freaked out about fetal movements. last tuesday night, Peanut was break-dancing just as i laid down to go to bed, for about an hour. it was funny and unusual. and the next day, it seemed as though everything changed.

i t-boned someone in the parking lot at work; fortunately after i dropped Punkin off at school. the damage was cosmetic, and the guy didn't want to call the police ("we're on private property") or exchange insurance ("it's a work car and i don't have time"). frankly i was embarrassed. i think that part is over, but i thought about damage to the Peanut nonetheless.

el Jefe' took Abby into the vet that day. she hadn't eaten in 24 hours. they put her on an iv and did a lot of blood work. she came home on Saturday with a nearly $900 bill. will she live to see the Peanut? we've decided not to pursue life saving measures since she's so old, but we can't stand to watch her starve to death. it's a worry.

on thursday, i (and Peanut) scored a 9.5 out of 10 at fetal monitoring. my nurse reassured me that induction isn't so bad; i may dilate on my own; and besides, i'm experienced at delivering on pitocin. she also warned me that my greatest risk at my age is still birth. it's awful; it's real; and it's on my mind.

we started picking up some things for Peanut's arrival. el Jefe' wanted Peanut to have his or her own "home from the hospital" outfit. i thought that was sweet. we bought an outfit, some newborn pants and t-shirts, and i dug out Punkin's newborn clothes. we also bought Punkin a big brother t-shirt, a big brother book, and a potty book. i'm so worried this is going to be hard on him. i keep thinking these are our last days alone with him. and i keep regretting any minute that doesn't go wonderfully (plenty with a two-year-old).

we went jet-skiing at the lake for the last time yesterday. it was windy and crowded, and we risked getting stuck, but more than one "neighbor" offered to help. it wasn't a perfect day, but we went, and it will be our last.

el jefe' and i talked about delaying the move because there is potential we can't get Punkin in day care until August. no decisions. i think maybe we're preoccupied that we're having a baby on Tuesday or Wednesday.